With all of the excitement of the pink elephant, I forgot to tell you where we ended up that night. Is the suspense killing you? Probably not, but just for the sake of argument, I am going to assume that you have all been biting your fingernails and not being able to sleep because you are not exactly sure where we are. Well, the wait is over…and it is worth it: Kansas City. To be more specific: Kansas City Missouri. I won’t even get into my confusion on the whole Kansas City situation…you know Kansas City, Kansas vs. Kansas City, Missouri and why in the world there would ever even be a Kansas City in the state of Missouri. I don’t doubt that there is some sort of historical significance to it, but we all know that there is no way I am putting any time or effort into uncovering that sort of info- I can live with that little unsolved mystery…If I had to pick something unsolved to know the answer to it would probably be: what happened to Caylee Anthony, or maybe if there really is a Bigfoot or not…I don’t know if I had to choose between those two…that’s a tough one. They both are so intriguing, way more intriguing than the Kansas City thing.
So, having already established that our car situation was preposterous in terms of embarrassing, well, imagine my horror as we pull up to our hotel and not only is the Chaz on the Plaza Restaurant that is housed in our hotel offering al fresco dining in this picturesque setting, but there is also a stringed quartet playing out in front, luring even more passersby out into the front. You know, now that I think about it, it may have in fact have been a stringed trio or maybe a quintet (is that even a word?) Shit, I can’t remember and I guess it doesn’t really matter, although I know you are all trying desperately to visualize this as you are reading and I want to paint as accurate a picture as I can for you (you’re welcome). And even more of a pisser, I can’t even tell you if they were any good because I was too busy having an anxiety attack as we rounded the block to pull into the valet. OMG- saved by the siren. As we were turning the corner, an ambulance in full lights, etc was high tailing it into the circle in front of us. Awesome, maybe someone died…this is surely going to take some heat off of our jalopy pulling up in here. It worked out perfect, as everyone was busy rubbernecking trying to catch a glimpse of the corpse (read…no one really died, or even left in the ambulance for that matter) we unpiled our crap and busted a move to our room. I wish the most heartfelt speedy to recovery to my little angel that fell ill and saved me some of my white trash pride (and I sure do wish you or one of your buddies was in our next hotel stop- because we really trashed up the next joint…but that little nugget will have to wait).
See that statue- that's where the orchestra was...and that whole front area?? Jammed with people "enjoying" the music...thank you heart attack victim
Breakfast at the Chaz
Chaz Mensh at the Chaz
Due to our quick turn around time, I did not manage to learn too much about this particular Kansas City(or the other one for that matter). We stayed in some area known as Country Club something or other, but there was no actual country club, just a big outdoor pavilion/mall with tons of stores, restaurants, etc. We all needed to get out and walk as we had been in the car for a nonsensical amount of time with out even so much as a pencil or an elephant to break up the drive. As much as I enjoyed this little area, I was a little perplexed because the whole thing was really old and really Spanish, as in architecture. No, I am not hating on anything Spanish…I Love Spanish and Spanish people and especially enjoy Spanish architecture, but we are not in Florida or California, we are in Missouri (or maybe Kansas). It just didn’t feel right. If anyone has an answer, hit me up and give me the 411. Not that I really truly care, but it’ll probably make you feel good to enlighten me, so come on. Anyway, Kansas City was quite an enjoyable city. Thank you.
As if the fine city of Kansas City hadn’t given us enough…look at what we found across the street.
I mean, what can I even say???
A giant shuttlecock...significance?? Who the hell cares?
So if you know anything about the geography of the state of Kansas (read…please, get a life and don’t admit to anyone, at anytime that you do) and then if you know anything about my family (please refer to above advice about state of Kansas knowledge) then you know that Lawrence, KS is just outside of Kansas City and then you also know that we are somehow required to stop at any college town that we come across for a little visit. I have no problem stopping anywhere (clearly), so if everyone else wants to see the University of Kansas, or Kansas University or whatever it is called, by golly I am in! Yet, this brings me to a few interesting questions:
1)Do we like Kansas?? I have made the mistake before of not knowing who we were supposed to be cheering for (please refer to my NHL Pittsburgh Penguins cheering debacle, Spring Break 2011). I know some of us like Duke, some like UNC, and we kind of like NC State. However, we had passed through Lexington, KY earlier and it was then established (at least to me) that we will not be stopping there because “we hate Kentucky”…although in the spirit of full disclosure I do think John Calipari is kind of cute, so I could easily be talked into cheering for them for a game or two. But, what do I know?
2)How fucking hot is it here?? I mean for goodness sakes…I have no problem at all with some hot weather, I actually enjoy it. But I really thought I might die after being outside for a mere seconds. This cannot be right or good for you.
And the answers:
1)So, after some careful prodding it is affirmed that we don’t necessarily “like” the Jayhawks, but we do “respect” them. That’s why we are stopping. Well, OK. Glad we got that cleared up.
2) 108 degrees. For real. That is not me just trying to be funny. That was the actual temperature via weather.com. And let’s just say that if I never experience 108 degrees again, I will die a happy girl. And, if any of you ever, ever hear me complain about the heat in North Carolina (which I most likely never will because I am sure somehow tied into my serious, undiagnosed auto immune, neurological condition I am always cold…always. I wear a fleece all Summer and multiple layers the rest of the year) please punch me in the throat…I deserve it. Those poor bastards in Kansas, well,they have the right to complain about some heat.
So we saw Allen Field House:
And that would be the great Phog Allen, not that you people have any idea who that is
Just think how cute it would be if this little jayhawk was in the below pictured ART
This cool as shit branch statue, which just happened to be crafted by a dude from Chapel Hill, NC…hmmmmmm, interesting twist:
If I was in charge, this would be a Jayhawk nest or something cool for the mascot; but apparently it is just simply ART, whatevs
And then we cruised the Massachusetts Avenue strip and did a little shopping. And from this point forward, you will notice that Will and Charlie are forever sporting their new Rock Chalk Jayhawk hats, misrepresenting the fact that we are some kind of Kansas superfan family.
So, Kansas University- check; barely avoiding heat stroke- check; now it was back in the car for just a short little (read…miserable 8 hour) last leg of our drive. And even with all of my exhaustive researching, there was no place worth stopping. Most disappointing was my inability to manage a stop at the Biggest Ball of Twine in Cawker City, KS which even in my questionable judgements, I was able to conclude that the 90 miles out of the way this was, was a perfect time to “know when to fold ’em.”
We stopped in the surprisingly cool (and of course not cool in the sense of temperature, it was not 108 anymore, but still a balmy 104; cool as in hip) little town of Hays, Kansas and enjoyed the highlights of the USA/Brazil soccer game, some darn good food, and some locally brewed beer.
lemonade+beer...thank you for that summertime combo LB Brewing Company, Hays, KS
Note the hats
Back on the road, and kids stop your bitching, it could be worse, we could be in this:
reedymania 