And you thought JonBenet's house was as good as it was going to get??? Anyone recognize this crizzac?? And in case you think I am some sort of psycho (which I guess maybe I am, but not a murdering kind of psycho) little hint: no one got murdered here (bummer, I know)....ANYONE??? It's the Mork and Mindy House. No, I am not kidding...and it is just 2 blocks from our house. I can enjoy it everyday if I want to (read...yes, I could, but I have not been back by since this little photo). And to think I said my blog was not going to be educational?!
We couldn’t stay in Denver forever (read…thankfully), it was time to get back to business (read…monkey business) and back to Boulder. And now would be a good time for me to share a few things that I have learned about Boulder in my short time here:
1)It does in fact get hot here, real hot. And yeah, I know, “it is not as humid”, blah, blah, blah…”it’s dry heat”, blah, blah, blah; but just so all you North Carolinians know, I am sweating my balls off.
2)A hike labeled or categorized as “moderate” in the tourist literature is going to be a hard as a mother fucker, so get ready!! And maybe don’t bring your 7,9, and 11 year old… or your husband for that matter. Some things may be better enjoyed solo, not that I have had the privilege of learning that first hand.
3)Showering here is totally optional and not high on anyone’s daily to do list. Which as unpleasant as it can be when you are at an Arts Festival where the majority people are opting out of the showering (as I unfortunately experienced and is discussed later in this post); I actually selfishly applaud the nonshowering concept in general, because I do not feel any pressure what so ever to clean up, knowing that no matter how bad I smell, somewhere in a 10 foot radius is someone who smells worse, much worse.
4)Housing is also optional…clearly contributing directly to observation #3. If you don’t have a house, you are not going to have a place to get cleaned up I get that ; except that maybe Boulder is trying to alleviate some of the nuisance of #3, as I was enlightened with the fact that the city actually permits and maybe even encourages the homeless to take up down at Boulder Creek, and basically live…as long as it is with in 20 feet of the creek. WHATEVER. And I should also mention that Boulder Creek is a huge tourist area (also discussed later in this post), so it’s not like these people are kept out of eye shot.
5)You have not felt like a Communist until you have driven a gas guzzling Surburban around the streets of Boulder. Unlike North Carolina, people here do not drive Suburbans. AT ALL. Instead they love the shit out of a Subaru and a beat up old truck. Again, I applaud that. Wish I had known that before I got here, though I am thinking the backseat of a Subaru Outback would have been cramped with my skateboard and our 60 tons of other junk.
6) it is way easier to get pot here than it is to get a bottle of wine or liquor…not that I have, but just pointing out the liquor store (they do not sell wine in the grocery store like they do back in NC) is about 6 blocks away; passing about 9 dispensaries en route.
We were lucky that when we got back to Boulder there was a big Arts Festival going on down on Pearl Street, which is the place to be. There is no way to better experience the true freaks of a place more than a good arts festival. As stated earlier, (number 3 and 4) there is a showering and homeless situation that were both in full effect during said arts festivities. But there also happened to be a lot of other cool art, almost enough to distract from the body odor situation and other sketchiness.
And there were street performers. What’s better than a street performer?? One of our personal faves: Zip Code Man. What is Zip Code man you ask?? A really freaky little guy who you tell your zip code to and he not only tells you what city you are from, but also some little fact about your crib; like a restaurant or a school or something. It was pretty amazing. And creepy. It should also be pointed out that he is able to know as many zip codes as he knows and has a lot of time to study up on them because he surely does not have a friend. Well, maybe an imaginary one or two; living, of course, in some exotic zip code. Not surprisingly, my kids were all too eager to throw out our zip code, which he knew. Fingers crossed that Zip Code Man doesn’t make his way over to 27104. Just saying.
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You also can’t help but to love a street performer who has fire and knives and is now calling your 9 year old up to be his assistant. Good luck with that DJ, better you than me. I hate fire and I have really not a lot of desire to throw a knife at anyone (well, except for Danny every now and then. I kid.). Luckily DJ did not burn himself or injure the performer and the show was enjoyed by all!! Also enjoyed was a contortionist (see picture) and a few magicians.
Pictured: My little DJ and very sketchy dude holding fire, squirting out lighter fluid; not pictured: knives that DJ was about to throw at this moron.
We also had some time to get out on the bikes for awhile and took in a little University of Colorado and the serenity of the Boulder Creek Trail. And by serenity I mean: if your idea of serenity is witnessing several of the aforementioned homeless people swimming (read…bathing) in the Creek, in addition to nonhomeless people tubing down the creek in desperate search of either a possible drowning or maybe a brain injury. Apparently people do it all of the time, for fun…even kids. I am just not feeling the same need. I know, I know, when in Rome…but sometimes even Romans have bad ideas.
reedymania 