New Mexico billing itself as The Land of Enchantment might be a stretch (IMHO). Yes, it is definitely a stretch. Land of the Perplexing? Yes. Land of Confusion? Yes. Land of Bloating? Hell Yes (Jesus, all these chips and margaritas are starting to catch up with me). But, Land of Enchantment? I’m not feeling it. Taos is a bizarre little place. It is definitely touristy… I guess; but there are also what I assume to be “locals” everywhere. And by locals I mean Mexicans and Indians and not a Julia Roberts or her hubs Danny Moder to be seen, which are really the only locals I want to hang with. We try to soak in the local flavor and hopefully some Enchantment. We see that possibly even more abundant than turquoise jewelry and dream catchers are pimped out rides with hydraulics!! They are everywhere. And it is awesome. I have always been semi-obsessed with cars with hydraulics since way back in the day when all the West Coast rappers cruised around in them, and I am saddened that they never really caught on back in North Carolina. To see so many of them up close and personal was a special gift. And as if that wasn’t enough…for reals, we even saw a car that was not only rockin’ the hydraulics and the sweet paint job that seems to go along with it, but also no shit, SHOT FLAMES OUT OF THE BACK. Flames, real flames (unfortunately I was too busy standing there open-mouthed and wide-eyed in pure admiration and was not able to get a pic). It does not get better than that. Maybe this is the Enchantment they speak of. I am starting to get it. And now that I think back to it, the windows on that flame shooting dream car were tinted, so there is a slight possibility that my fave local Julia Roberts was in the back of it. I’m pretty sure that she would have a pimped out ride like that and would definitely be cruising the main drag. Screw the hot air balloon on the license plate, I propose that New Mexico gets themselves a new license plate with a phat flame shooting hot rod on it. I would have come here years before with every hope of laying eyes on that.
Ok, now that I have seen Julia Roberts, let’s get back to our other New Mexico activities.
When I left off last post we had landed safely from our hot air ballooning. See below:
Just happy to be alive!!!! JK, it was not scary.
After we (read…Ed and company) pack up all the ballooning paraphernalia,we pile back in the hooptie (sadly not equipped with hydraulics) and are whisked away for a little champagne brunch at the Rio Grande Bridge (5th highest bridge in America, btw). Which is a damn good thing because we have been awake for like 3 hours and I am famished!!! I have been dreaming of cookies for the past 2 1/2 hours in an effort not to fixate on the possibilities of dying on the hot air adventure, so they better have some good grub. Upon arrival at the champagne brunch I realize, there are no cookies. Well, shit. However, there is a good assortment of muffins, and I do also enjoy a muffin; so I made do…with 3. And then I drowned my non-cookie-eating sorrow by washing that muffin (read..those muffins) with a nice glass of champagne (read…4-6 nice glasses of champagne). Also, keep in mind that it is approximately 7:15 AM. Yikes, this could be a long day.
Hanging at the champagne brunch. Bridge pictured in back. Worth noting: 5th highest bridge in the USA.
Deej and I discussing the stock market, the upcoming election, and Spongebob Squarepants.
From the bridge, Rio Grande below. Enchanted right? Told ya it’s not. Feel my pain? I thought you might.
Walking across the bridge. The 5th highest bridge. I am going to keep repeating that to see if it ever starts sounding the least bit impressive. No luck yet.
We get back to the adobe. I look at my watch and it is thankfully 10:00, and I am ready for bed. Really ready for bed. And as I brush my teeth and start to nestle in, I realize that it 10:00 AM; not PM. Crap. I am so tired I can hardly function. Whose idea was the dumb ass hot air balloon ride anyway? Oooooops, mine. I better step it up. And I do, but after a little nap.
Maybe the tomahawks were not a great idea…OK, we need to go find an activity.
Willie, always looking for a laugh. Note to self: invest in sunscreen.
We head out to explore some more of the Enchantment that is Taos. We spend a little time at a fun little toy store/ playground right around the corner.
dorks.
I take to some people watching and witness this little scene:
That is a stuffed animal in her hand. Totally soaking wet. From that fountain. I can only imagine the amount of urine in there. And I bet she is going to sleep with that tonight. WTF?
Even before this little bizarro stuffed animal-washing-in-fountain incident, I had already spotted this girl. Well, I had already spotted her creepy as all get out Dad. Admittedly, I am subconsciously armed with an arsenal of Lifetime movies, Nancy Grace segments, and a general paranoia for child molesters; but her Pops was a HUGE red flag. When we got there he was by himself, with some sort of sketchpad/ notepad jotting down God knows what. As I kept a close eye on him and committed his hair length, color, clothing, etc to memory for my later statement to the police; the girl walked in and called him Dad. Hmmmmmmmm. Curve ball. I thought for sure I was on to something. Well, at least his innocence frees up my afternoon from the police questioning I was going to have to subject myself to. Luckily, creepy Dad dude looked very Johnny Depp-esque so should I need to describe him at a later time, I can scan my back issues of US Weekly to firm up my description. I should point out though, that this guy’s Johnny Depp-esque look was more of the disheveled, dirty Jack Sparrow kind of look; not at all in the sexy Johnny Depp-esque way. Although, really I personally have never thought of Johnny Depp as being all that cute or sexy, but what do I know? Good point, I do know lots. For instance: I know for fact he has had at least one stint as People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” and I am not one to argue with those kind of accolades. And in trying to get back on track, this post was not supposed to be about Johnny Depp’s sexiness (or lack there of). The point is,his doppelganger is hanging out here in Taos, at this toy store/playground with his daughter who is washing her stiffed animal in the fountain; and that that is just gross, not sexy at all, and he is creepy. But I enjoyed watching. And clearly photographing. And I am calling other people creepy?? Hello, pot.
So maybe the playground is not actually designed for 12, 10 and 8 year olds, but I won’t let that stop me from some down time.
That was possibly the most useless post I have ever written. This is why I hate blogging. I feel a crash and burn coming. It could be awhile before the next post.
reedymania 